1 Talk it through
It might sound clinical, but it’s a good idea to talk through exactly what you feel comfortable with. A first dogging trip probably won’t go exactly to plan, but at least you are both aware of each other’s limitations and/or aspirations.
Only do as much – or as little – as you feel comfortable with. You’re in charge. If you enjoy it, you can always go back for more.
It’s your night and only you can decide what you want from it. Think about the kind of fun you want. Are you looking for someone to ‘accidentally’ catch you ‘in flagrante’, or do you want participation from the doggers?
It’s also worth having a signal or password that only you know – a way of discreetly telling your partner, ‘I’ve had enough, time to go home’.
2 Plan it – or take pot luck…
Since the advent of all the swinging sites on the internet, a lot of people are now advertising for meetings. Admittedly this takes away the ‘chance’ element that was part of the early appeal of dogging, but it can be very useful for the newer couple who may not know many locations. It also gives you the opportunity to discuss your likes and dislikes before the meet, and to set out your personal limitations. You will find the smaller, more secluded locations are generally better for these arranged meets. You are less likely to have a ready-made audience, who may also want to be involved in any little party you have arranged. Once you have a little more experience, and have more ideas of places to go, you will probably find that you don’t always need to place adverts and that you know the best place to visit – and probably are familiar with at least half of the cars in the car park.
3 Location, location, location
It might sound an obvious question, but consider how well you know the car park you are visiting. How well do you actually know the general area? Which part is the best place to park for easy exit and also to give you a good view of who is coming and going?
Why not have a ‘dummy’ run during daylight hours so you can see what the car park is like, identify all exits and, most importantly, you can ensure that you know your way home afterwards?
4 Be prepared
Remember what they used to teach in the boy scouts (or guides)? Well, it goes for dogging as well. Have you got your condoms, wet wipes, disposal bags? It’s a good idea to set up a ‘dogging bag’, which can contain all your essentials, along with any toys you may want to use on the night. It is also a good idea to make sure that your mobile phone is fully charged (in case you need to call anyone). Can you get reception on your phone from the site?
5 Be ready for a waiting game
If you are going to an ‘advertised’ car park, you can pretty much expect that there will be others around, but these will mainly be single males rather than other couples. If it is a quieter car park, be prepared to wait, sometimes for long periods of time, until a suitable dogger comes along. It may be worth taking some good music to listen to (but don’t overdo the car radio and end up with a flat battery) and something to drink.
Dogging can be a very thirsty experience. (Remember you’ve got to drive home – so go very easy on the alcohol!)
6 Approach with care
On your final approach to the car park, it’s a good idea to lock the car doors, make sure any valuables are out of sight and turn off your interior light. On some cars this turns on automatically when the engine is turned off and can be mistaken as a signal for the doggers already there to make their way over to you before you’ve even had time to take off your seatbelt.
7 Pick your parking place
Upon arrival, make your way to your preferred spot, which hopefully won’t already have been taken. Reverse into the parking space. Most couples and singles find it safer to reverse into a parking space rather than drive in forwards. It means you can see who’s approaching the car, but it also makes it easier to leave in a hurry if things aren’t going to plan.
8 Know your signals
So you are in the car park, and there are a couple of polite doggers standing near their cars, just waiting for you to make a move.
How do you let them know you want them to come over? There are a number of ways you can get the attention of others in the car park and let them know you want them to approach. One of the most popular ways is to turn on your interior light. This normally indicates you want to be watched and lets the others see who’s in the car. Some couples also flash their headlights to get attention, or just open the window and wait for someone to walk over casually.
9 Set out your rules
Whatever you decide to do, remember that YOU are in charge. YOU decide how far to go and what the rules are. However, the doggers won’t know your rules, or your limitations, unless you tell them. Most doggers won’t attempt to touch or join in unless they are invited – some only want to watch and will normally let you know this – but remember there is always the chancer who may interpret an open window as an invitation to stick their arm in and have a feel. Don’t be afraid to tell them exactly what you want and what they can or can’t do.
10 Talk, talk and talk again
It is important when you first start dogging that you talk through what has happened. Talk about your feelings – what you liked or disliked – and make sure you are both happy with what has happened. Having fun out dogging is nice, but your relationship with your partner is paramount.
By ensuring you are both comfortable with dogging and the limits you have set, you can deal with any problems, concerns or doubts before they become issues. Most importantly, make sure that both of you are still finding it fun.When it stops being fun – for either of you – it’s time to empty and hang up that dogging bag!